Best Governing Addict

Politicians rarely make the news for doing things the right way. This sparked the demented side of my brain (I am not sure whether that is the right side or the left side) to wonder what addict makes the best governing official. The answer is it depends on the area being governed.

In an area where the best action is no action the alcoholic politician should be in office. In the history of hangovers, no hangover has every produced a positive result excepting taking quality naps. A drunk will also help the liquor industry and provide cheaper booze to the public. Also, the hammered official will drain lobby organizations of money by going to expensive dinners, drink too much on their dime, and promise to give lobbyist things they will never remember.

In an area where the men and women are not pretty, send the sex addict. Nothing positive might get done, but the people will feel better that there is someone in this world willing to share a bed with them. I would love to see the campaign that promises a bed to every constituent.

In an area where a lot of work needs to be done, send the cocaine addict. That addict can’t sleep so you might as well put them to work.

In an area where there are a lot of underprivileged, send the kleptomaniac. He can’t still from them, but he can go to areas nearby and steal for them.

 
The one addiction that we should not allow in office is the gambling addict. If you are going to lose city hall, at least have the decency to sell it.