One person’s desperate foolish hopeful attempt to make you laugh by providing endless hours minutes seconds of laughter. Trying to bring some nonsensical, occasionally relevant, boldly irreverent not too hurtful (I have liticaphobia), touchingly personal, or any other type of humor that I can write. Lastly, here’s hoping you laugh.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

A Small World: Dungeon Edition



Two men went on a castle tour where their ancestors are from. One man (let’s call him Jeff) under his breath, “I think my great grandpa might have worked here.” A man in ear shot (let’s call him guy #2) said, “I think my great grandpa was a prisoner here.”

Jeff responded with, “I am being serious. My great grandpa was a torturer in a dungeon.” Guy #2 (maybe we should call him Steve) said, “My great grandpa was tortured in a dungeon.”

Jeff and Steve went on talking about dungeon life and eventually Jeff told Steve (that’s too long of a name; let’s call him Ted) his favorite story about working in a dungeon.

My grandpa said he had the worst time torturing this one guy. All he did while chained to the wall, was complain. How is it that the wall is so cold and it is so hot in here? These chains are heavy. Do you have to lash my back? How come he gets to leave? Why are these shackles so tight? Do you have to stick that poker there?

Other times he would ask, could I torture you? Could I torture one of the other prisoners? Do you lash from the wrist or from the hips? Does your back hurt after beating us?
One day my great grandpa discussed with his superior if he could accidently let him escape. They agreed he was so annoying that they should let him. One night he loosened the chains on the prisoner and left the dungeon door unlocked so he could leave. The next morning, he walked in and the prisoner said, “Did you know you forgot to lock me and the door up? So while you were sleeping I borrowed your keys and locked up.”

My great grandfather was shocked and asked, “Why didn’t you leave?”
The prisoner responded, “I could get tortured here or by my wife. You let me complain.”

Ted said, “I am pretty sure that guy was my grandpa. He complained a lot.”

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