People Marched through Manhattan in the “People’s Climate
March” in order to reverse global climate change. The march did not affect
traffic. It was still terrible. Rallies were also held in London, Paris,
Berlin, Tokyo, and Bogata, Columbia (You know your city is not important when
the country it is in needs to be mentioned).
Apple sells 10 million iPhones on opening weekend. iPhone
cost between $200 and $500. I feel like there is something better we can do
with this money. Maybe fix the environment.
iPhone 6 maybe bendable. The iPhone 6 was called the most
durable smartphone ever, which is like calling a glass vase the most durable
vase ever.
A dog was reported lost in Philadelphia was found in
Portland, Oregon. When the dog was asked why he travelled so far she responded,
“If I make it back I would be better than Homeward Bound”
The loud music trail is coming back to be tried again. For
those of you who do not know, this is a case about a white man shooting a black
teen in a SUV in Florida while loud music played. Clearly, the media got the
name of this trail right.
The Secret Service is planning on boosting its presence
after 2 security incidents in 2 days. One was where a former soldier hopped the
fence to warn the president that climate change was needed. The second was a
teen from New Jersey who tried to walk into the white house. These two people
show two important issues, the need for mental healthcare and the need to fix
New Jersey
A NFL linebacker hurt himself celebrating a sack. One
person’s mistake is our free joke of the week.
Manhattan is less dense now then in 1910. New York in the
1910s was one giant game of sardines in a can.
49% of Republicans do not want their children to marry a
democrat. Democrats are much more welcoming, only 33% don’t want their children
to marry a Republican. Many consider this study to be inaccurate because
although democrats would accept they will be passive aggressive about it
A report in an effort to legalize the bong said on air “F%$#
it, I Quit” Which are probably the most elegant words ever spoken in order to
legalize it
China sentenced a professor to life in prison for teaching
students “separatism”. In an effort to have unity taught china is giving ice
cream to all professors who teach it. The teacher said he was teaching about
Human Rights. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any in his country
University of Michigan is giving away tickets to an upcoming
football game if a person buys Coke products. Apparently they are no longer
looking for a Michigan man, a Coke man is good enough.
Banks are now launching checkless checking accounts. What’s
next a savingless savings account? Wait, that’s an IRA.
The President gave a coffee cup salute to Marines outside of
Marine One. I don’t understand the probably he wasn’t saluting he was asking if
they wanted one.
India’s Mars Orbiter Mission successfully entered Mars’
orbit. India became the first nation to succeed on first attempt and the first
Asian Nation to reach Mars. US’s tech support is getting better.
Emmy Watson’s nude photo threat is a hoax. It turned out to
be a viral marketing campaign by Rantic Marketing. They win the award of teaser
of most internet pervs. The over/under for amount of time before Rantic gets
hacked by internet pervs is set at 12 hours.
48% of Americans believe Climate Change is a major issue.
Bigger issues to Americans are ISIS, foreign nuclear programs, and
Cheeseburgers
ESPN Suspended one of their employees for a profanity laced
tirade about the Commissioner of the NFL. ESPN said the suspension was because
the attack lacked evidence. It’s good to know Disney does not care about
swearing
Dolphin hunting season is open in Japan. This wins cutes animal
hunted award. Take that Bambe
Congress is on track to be the least productive in history.
At least Congress will set a record.
A police trooper shot an unarmed man. All I can think is Please let it be a white guy shooting a white
guy.
Air strike against ISIS is being led by female. That is the
perfect definition of adding insult to injury
Barbra Streisand new No. 1 Album marks the first time
someone has had a No. 1 album in the each of the past 6 decades. Maybe her
album should have been placed for free on the iPhone.
A 6.2 magnitude earthquake strikes near Anchorage, Alaska.
This would have been more newsworthy if it affected people.
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