One person’s desperate foolish hopeful attempt to make you laugh by providing endless hours minutes seconds of laughter. Trying to bring some nonsensical, occasionally relevant, boldly irreverent not too hurtful (I have liticaphobia), touchingly personal, or any other type of humor that I can write. Lastly, here’s hoping you laugh.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Belligerent Sports Jock - Sports as Women



Every Sport can be compared to a woman. It makes sense men love women and man love sports.

Baseball is like an unspoiled virgin. With AAA, AA, High A, Low A, and multiple short season levels, major league baseball may never be played. Baseball also has the highest moral standards of any sport. Every now and then a batter gets to pop on.

Basketball is like the last call girl. People are running around taking questionable amounts of shots and the last ditch effort to score is all that matters.

Racing is like foreign women. It is fast and admitting that you like it is questionable unless you are in that arena.

Hockey is a lesbian. The sport is tough and only a certain set of people like it.

Soccer is a performer. The sport is gentle and full of bad acting, yet for some reason you want to like it.

Football is like an abusive spouse (I know too soon, but with this sport it will always be too soon). The athletes take a beating and everyone thinks that they should probably leave the sport, but they don’t. The sport has a ton of time where no action occurs. At times you think about leaving, but then something interesting happens that makes you believe this is the best sport.

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