One person’s desperate foolish hopeful attempt to make you laugh by providing endless hours minutes seconds of laughter. Trying to bring some nonsensical, occasionally relevant, boldly irreverent not too hurtful (I have liticaphobia), touchingly personal, or any other type of humor that I can write. Lastly, here’s hoping you laugh.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Oh the Week That Was 10.6 - 10.10



Supreme Court refuses to rule on same-sex marriage making it legal in 5 more states. The first time where no action is good action

South Africa has white only towns. Suddenly, the south feels less racist.

Michael Bloomberg received an honorary knighthood. It is official in the US and UK there is no one worthy of knighthood.

Swings are being removed from school playgrounds because they are too dangerous. The padding on the playground is also being removed due to the fact it is not bubble wrap

A Blood moon appeared this week. It is a lunar eclipse not a new Twilight Book

4 year old brought heroin to daycare thinking it was candy and like a good child shared with the whole class.

An oil tanker disappears of the coast of Singapore. The fear is that pirates have taken the ship. With the price of gas these days, how can you blame them?

Waitresses living off tips have to endure a lot of sexual harassment from customers. Apparently, more skin, more money, more problems. Waitresses should really listen to a rap song.

A 6.2 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Mexico. It perfectly mixed the margaritas.

Christmas gift from Neiman Markets is a $475K perfume which you get to work with an expert in Paris to make. Now you don’t have to give money to the poor. Actually for an extra hundred, they will kick a homeless person in the groin

ISIS is cutting of water supply to villages they cannot fully control in order to extort them. In order to make that work in the U.S,. you would have to cut off the bottled water supply.

Genes are partially responsible for your love of coffee to the degree of 1.3% which is comparable to the role of genes in alcohol and tobacco use. It’s not your parents’ fault you are an alcoholic.

1.5 ton gargoyles which stood atop the exterior to a church are missing. Finally, proof that gargoyles can come to life.

The 7th Heaven dad/pastor allegedly confessed to molesting children. Those casting people sure got that one right.

A man had a 17 hour erection. Unfortunately in the record books, he still came up short.

A Parkinson’s drug gave a woman here multiple orgasms a day. There is one woman who does not need a man or a vibrator

An Australian woman was lost in a bush for 17 days. She is one bad lesbian

Eiffel Tower is putting in a glass floor. Giving women another reminder of their struggle.

The White House may have covered up a prostitution scandal link. I hope this is true because it would make news interesting.

There was an article about what would happen if mankind was extinct. This is a time to predict the most absurd things possible. Who will be able to prove you wrong?

Amazon is going to open a physical store. They are going the ranks of other great companies like Sears and Kids R Us

Anchorage police has released the details of the Drunken Palin brawl. White trash is the gift that keeps giving.

Telsa revealed their new car, the D. They unleashed the D. Their marketing department needs to be fired.

No comments:

Post a Comment