One person’s desperate foolish hopeful attempt to make you laugh by providing endless hours minutes seconds of laughter. Trying to bring some nonsensical, occasionally relevant, boldly irreverent not too hurtful (I have liticaphobia), touchingly personal, or any other type of humor that I can write. Lastly, here’s hoping you laugh.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Belligerent Sports Jock: College Football



This is the biggest weekend of College Football. Let’s forget about the rape charges and celebrate. There will be great games of football. While football is not America’s Pastime, it is America’s present time. Beers will be a flowing from as early as late last night were bold College kids think they can drink from the night before through 3 without sleep. That is why we need to educate them. At one point in time College Athletics was about educating the student athlete. That ended when the first big check came in. Next, boy you are illiterate, but damn good at football. Come play for us (Laugh if you will, but that is actually true). Now the game is about winning and the highest ratings possible. Oh America what beautiful a place you are.

College Football is how the South has risen again. We all knew it would not be through prominent command of the English language, but we could have hoped knowing it would be a waste. Offensive Lineman and Defensive Lineman are a solution to what to do with kids suffering from obesity. Run fast you are a wide receiver if you are tall and can catch and a corner if you can’t do one of those two.

With College Football brings the tailgate which sounds link a bad political scandal. The drinking commences as early as can be because at one point and maybe still now College Stadiums do not serve alcohol, those heathens. So a person must be sufficiently drunk that they won’t sober up until after halftime at the earliest. The games of Cornhole are being played, which maybe the worst name for a game ever. The host of the tailgate is grilling whatever they can from burgers to their wife’s purse.

Right now is a time to forget that College Football will peak this week, but remember how much fun you will have watching College kids throw up if you are at the tailgate, College kids play a classic American game, Cornhole, or College kids playing football while idiots scream as loud as the can. Let’s go College Kids. Entertain us.

No comments:

Post a Comment