Oh the Week That Was 10/20 - 10/24/14

A Woman tried to Break into Ex’s House and got stuck. And the mystery to why he broke up with you is over, it’s not that you are crazy but you are fat.

Sex is 385 million years old. Oral started during the Clinton Administration.

Sweden hunts for mystery sub. That must be one delicious sandwich

Parkinson’s Drugs have recently been tied to Compulsive Sex and Gambling. Maybe Breaking Bad should have casted Michael J. Fox.

Alabama’s house speaker was charged with 23 felony violations of ethics laws. If he wasn’t in the bible belt he would be called a politician.

A recent study found that Soda ages our cells as much as smoking, but has none of the social benefits of smoking.

Drunk Driver thought a jail was a Bar. At least it made the arrest easier.

A women built a cabin, put it on a pallet so it could be moved, and had it stolen. Next time, do not gift wrap it for criminals.

A prisoner was refused a copy of an art book of how to draw the nude human form because of a porn ban. You can only take away so much of a man’s freedom.

RNC Co-Chair said that Wisconsin Voters are not that Sharp. The reeling democrats get a win.

A Goodfellas actor is suing the Simpsons because they used his as a base for a character named Louie. I believe I speak for everyone, who is Louie.

The US tried to arm fighters against ISIS and they ended up arming ISIS. The other 26 got to the right people, but we care more about the one that fails.

Renee Zellweger looks good as new. She actually looks like a new person.

Chinese people are on a quest to give their children an English sounding name. The China’s government advised citizens to not give them a stripper’s name.

A Brewer in Colorado bought up all the Count Chocula from 2 stores in order to make a beer. What kind of world is it where the kids are saved from obesity by a Brewer?

There is a proposal to split South Florida from the rest of Florida making it the 51^st state. What will happen to Florida Man jokes?

A 500 pound suspect can’t fit inside police car. They had to use the criminal’s pickup truck.

Scientists introduced an ugly dinosaur. It has the size of a T-Rex, the neck of an ostrich, hump of a camel, and the bill of a duck. This is either a dinosaur or a botched genetic experiment.

A Giant Snake has Virgin Birth. She had six virgin babies so she beat Mary.

Facebook decided to launch a new app which is an app for chat rooms. Perverts rejoiced. This is such a great idea AOL stopped having chat rooms and that was all it was.

A man beat by Police got $1k in a lawsuit and his lawyer got $459k. And, the real criminal shows his face.

High School Seniors in Nebraska are allowed to pose with firearms in their senior portraits as long as it is tasteful. Only in a small town is the town drunk allowed to make decisions.

Florida’s Attorney General said that Lesbians cannot get divorced. At least that will help the marriage statistics.

Comets likely smell like rotten eggs, horse urine, alcohol (horse urine), and vinegar all mixed together. Leave it to scientist to kill a kid’s dreams.