Oh the Week That Was 11.24 - 11.30

In the voice of the beautiful ditsy female replacement to the bitter old man serves his required suspension.

- Katy Perry calls out a paparazzo for having a tiny penis when he took photos of her on a nude beach in Australia. That is not very nice Katy, tiny penis have inadequacy issues. Also, Katy Perry will perform at the next super bowl. I can’t wait to hear her roar.

- Queen Elsa merchandise is more sought after than Barbie. A Frozen Sequel is in the works. I can wait to wear my Elsa costume during the next news segment. 

- A midtown NYC Wax Salon is rolling out a Vaginal Facial. Finally something uplifting for the downstairs.

- Students walked out of class in support of fellow classmates were raped by a student at the school. You go girls.

- The FDA is requiring chain restaurants and movie theaters to disclose calorie count. That will make Calorie counting easier.

- Underwater bot found surprisingly thick ice about 65 feet of ice when it was expecting at most 16 feet. That's really thick.

- An Ancient Canyon was discovered in Tibet. What’s a canyon?

- A town decided to get rid of the ugly Christmas tree in the town square. Good job town no one should have to suffer through an ugly Christmas, unless it’s a sweater. There is a lot of money to be made in ugly Christmas sweaters. My granny is now a very rich lady.

- A naked man fell through a ceiling and into a women’s bathroom. It’s raining man, watch your head.

- Seals were told to go to their room after being caught fooling around with penguins, those poor tiny butlers.

- People are opposed to name a park after Winnie the Pooh because of his unknown gender. Pooh is so nice and cuddly they should do it anyway.

- Cinnabon expects people to eat 7.3 million calories of their food per hour at airports. Gross.

- Walmart spent $2 million fighting a $7,000 fine. That’s silly.

- Coca-Cola is entering the Milk market. I can’t wait for my Coke Milk. Wait, I can’t say that because it might be the street name for a drug.

- A new ancient Roman god was discovered. He is a bearded man standing in a plant or it is a portrait of Jesus.

- A 17 year old girl was arrested and being accused of running a Prostitution Ring. There the man goes arresting a girl with entrepreneurial spirit.

- In order to drink water, Cats gently place their tongues on the surface of their water bowl. Dogs smash their tongues through the water surface of their bowl making a mess. My purse dog, Toto drinks like cute kitty.

- A man was stabbed by for eating Thanksgiving dinner early. That was not nice mom.

- Breaking news: I will become the new weather anchor. On snowy days, I will be wearing my Elsa costume.