No Subject

I am writing this today because I do not know what to write about. There is no topic that jumps out at me as a great topic. Sure, North Korea is being silly, but that is North Korea. A politician said something stupid, but that is politics. I write every day in order to give you the 2 minute distraction this is. I have failed terrible. I would apologize, but you are reading this.

 
I wish I could give you physical humor, but I am writing and writing a man was talking to a beautiful girl and his dog took a large poop on his shoes. It is not funny and gross. I can’t give you deadpan humor because it requires a delivery and a stoic face which you cannot see. I could give you a disingenuous attempt at topic of moderate interest, but who am I, apathy man? No you deserve my best attempt. Unfortunately, this is my best. A hackneyed no jokes attempt to make you laugh. This is the cheapest trick ever. If you are putting an effort to read this I should write a joke and maybe I will. I write and write and build up as much tension as possible never writing a joke waiting to pounce on this tension. You may be so tense that you laugh unwillingly. I hope that just happened. Maybe, I will write a joke. This has become a stream of consciousness writing that always results in a person making you laugh once and since that my goal is one laugh and not one joke, I will succeed (I probably won’t). I will end this with more tension and more tension and more tension and say, "There once was a man from Nantucket."