One person’s desperate foolish hopeful attempt to make you laugh by providing endless hours minutes seconds of laughter. Trying to bring some nonsensical, occasionally relevant, boldly irreverent not too hurtful (I have liticaphobia), touchingly personal, or any other type of humor that I can write. Lastly, here’s hoping you laugh.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Scientific Facts about What Makes an Attractive Human Mate



The representatives of the female species which are most attractive to the opposite sex tend to have a waist-to-hip ratio of 7:10. The simple minded male wants to look at those hips and know that you can have his offspring. In laymen terms, does baby got back? The male is listening closely to the noise the female produces for a high voice as a sign of youthfulness and to see if he can tune it out. Additionally, the male is looking for healthy hair as a sign of health, fertility, and something to pull. The female also needs to smile frequently. An illusion of a happy female is better than a happy female.  The female should avoid covering her face in makeup because putting lipstick on a pig is a waste of lipstick. Lastly, the male is attracted to the color red. The male is not a pig, but a bull.

The male also needs to shape himself in a certain way. The male most also wear red it is seen as a power color. If everyone wears red there may be a Roman Orgy. The females are attracted to muscles and a chemical in sweat. The males need to spend time in the gym prior to dates, but it is recommended to change clothes prior to aforementioned date, unless the girl is a Super Freak. The male should be straight faced with stubble. It is seen as mature and manly even if the man cannot help but laugh anytime it hears a fart or the word fart. Lastly, the male should have good posture. No woman wants a caveman.Cavemen do not have income.
 
If the species can achieve this it will continue on to replicate until it eventually causes its own extinct from exhaustion of excessive humping.

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