The first Thanksgiving was a celebration of a good harvest
or a meeting in order to have a military alliance which occurred in 1621
between the Plymouth Colonists and Wampanoag Indians. Good news: we have no
idea why it occurred. We do know there was a feast and it was a long feast,
about 3 days. Rather than a feast, it sounds a lot more like a summit of gradually
increasing roundness. Scholars do know the winter before was fiercely cold and deadly
for the Colonist. The following spring,
Natives thought the Plymouth Settlers how to work the land to survive. To make
matters more confusing, the actual first Thanksgiving or harvest festival may
have occurred in 1565 in St. Augustine, Florida by the Spanish or 1619 in
Virginia by English settlers. Since we have no idea what was consumed at the
other possible Thanksgivings, we should stick to the Plymouth one.
How did Thanksgiving become a holiday? That is easy. Abraham
Lincoln made the last Thursday in November as national holiday during the Civil
War. Something good had to come out of the Civil War. I know free slaves, but
Thanksgiving brings people together not split the nation into bigots, liars,
and cheats and that was just the North. A few decades later, FDR moved it one
week earlier to boost Christmas Shopping (Soon Thanksgiving and Halloween will
be the same holiday, the actually first Thanksgiving was around the Harvest or
Halloween time which would make the Holiday more accurate, but this is America
and the truth has never stopped us before).
Why are there Parades? I have no idea, probably tradition
which is the same reason we watch football every Thanksgiving. Parades have
become a common occurrence with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade being the
most famous. A gluttonous holiday with a commercial backbone, can this holiday
get more American? Yes America’s greatest political invention Lobbying (In
other countries it is known as bribery) is the reason turkey is dinner. The
main course at the first Thanksgiving was venison. So go out and harpoon a deer
if you want to be traditional. No one is sure whether or not turkey was even
eaten at the first Thanksgiving. It is starting to sound like we have no idea
what a traditional Thanksgiving should be.
The biggest controversy about Thanksgiving is the fact that
relationships between Natives and Settlers resulted in the death of millions.
Some people celebrate a “National Day of Mourning” atop of Cole’s Hill. It
should be noted, the Plymouth settlers were not violent towards the Natives
because they owed their lives to them, at least the first generation was
friendly. The settlers who came after were brutal murders. American history a love
story of manslaughter (Revolutionary War, Civil War, …). To be fair most of the
important moments of history are about death (WWI, WWII, Vietnam War, …). If
people start killing each other it will be in the History books. Make love not
war unless you want to be remembered.
Natives believe that Thanksgiving is an abomination to
celebrate. Consumers believe it is the start of shopping season. The Government
thinks it is a day off. Families think of it as a day to be lazy and fat. I
have no idea what it is supposed to be about so I am going to eat my turkey and
shut my mouth.
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