If Jesus was around today, he would need a marketing
campaign to get attention. The marketing executives will tell him that he needs
to build the brand of “Jesus” or be Tim Tebow. Whoever discovered him, probably
performing miracles which the public thought was street art, would settle for marketing
him as the greatest illusionist to ever live.
-Come one come all to see the Amazing Jesus turn water into
wine. You usually have to wait years to drink wine this good and he will make
it in a matter of seconds. Get drunk in an instant because he can also make
vodka.
-Watch the Immortal Jesus rise from the dead. Witness him
multiple 1 fish and 1 loaf of bread in order to feed the entire crowd. After he
sells the fish to McDonald’s because they are the only one who would buy such
poor quality of food.
-View Jesus the Life Bringer. If you do not believe in
zombies come watch Jesus breathe life into the dead. 28 days later try this
afternoon.
-Observe Jesus the Illusionist. They were blind and now they
see. Watch Jesus cure a blinds man vision. An introduce him to his wife’s “inner
beauty” and Adam’s Apple.
-Is Mother Nature being a real bitch? Watch Jesus turn a
hurricane into a light breeze.
I think it would be the greatest Six Flags magic show ever. He may even make it to Vegas, worst case Atlantic City.
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