The State of the Union

The most irrelevant speech of the year was given yesterday after the penultimate irrelevant speech was given. I am referring to the Response to the State of the Union and the State of the Union, respectively. I know this is a day late and a dollar short, but that makes it like the government.

The State of the Union can be broken down into a few sections. Here is what I did, Here is why what I did is good, Here is what I hope to do, I did other good stuff so this should be good too, those are they people in my way (starting to sound tedious just like the actually one), some reason to why he is president (charming story that no one cares about), we need to come together as a nation (pandering jerk), and a stirring sediment to why the United States is the greatest nation in the world (as if we were expecting him to say Switzerland was better).

The Response can be broken down into a few sections as well (sounding repetitive, well that’s the whole night and next day because it is all the news can talk about, I wouldn’t mind a racial charged protest). The last speaker was the president and deserves our respect, we respectfully disagree with these points made by the president (respect in Politician speak actually means go f*$% yourself), we as the opposition think our ideas are better, we think that we can help the American people be better (once again screw you Switzerland. I am just saying Switzerland needs some love), I am in Washington because of some reason (charming story that no one cares about), and a stirring sediment to why the United States is the greatest nation in the world (Seriously, Switzerland is pretty great. They have the Alps, they are European, and they are neutral, which I believe is a freaky sex term for them).

These are both useless because simply writing out here is what I want to do and why and then publishing it in the newspaper would be just as affective. Instead the President and the Response interrupts television. Politicians will poll people about what they think and they will say these numbers mean something, but in a matter of days or hours the numbers will change.

The most useless part of the state of the Union is the constant standing and applauding. It looks like our politicians think he doing good job or finally, this is the last time I have to clap. It is extremely idiotic and makes the nation look dumb. Even a child knows you hold your applause to the end.

You can read the State of the Union in less than half the time it takes the President. You are smarter than the president, but you don’t have to stop every third sentence with a standing ovation because you said something you were supposed to. The State of the Union is not a speech, but a victory lap. It is not his victory lap for him, but a victory lap for his party (The President has his victory lap every day when people call him Mr. President and he thinks, that’s right b*#@*. He doesn’t need to be eloquent in his head). The President has bigger issues that he must dedicate his time to (like I don’t know people trying to kill us), instead he deals with idiots applauding. There is more sitting and standing than a Catholic mass. The kneeling was done later, at least during the Clinton years.

The President’s supporters think his speech was great. His detractors think it was good and missing something. What it was missing, they will never say, but it was something. The response is equally unimportant because it is not the State of the Union. The party that gives it will embrace it and the party that has to listen to it will say it was good, but missing something and the president is ours.

Both speeches will have God Bless America. I am waiting for the day an atheist says that offends me. I am waiting for an atheist to be speaking one of those speeches and not say God Bless America and watch political pundits say that person is not American enough because she/he only said Bless America.

 
Oh Politics, what a futile endeavor you are. I look forward to a long relationship where I constantly mock you (I am talking to politics and the reader).