One person’s desperate foolish hopeful attempt to make you laugh by providing endless hours minutes seconds of laughter. Trying to bring some nonsensical, occasionally relevant, boldly irreverent not too hurtful (I have liticaphobia), touchingly personal, or any other type of humor that I can write. Lastly, here’s hoping you laugh.

Friday, January 16, 2015

The Commonalities between Wall Street and Porn



Warning: This piece contains material which would probably be deemed inappropriate for children if some board was approved my writing. This is also contains material which would probably be deemed inappropriate for people who love Wall Street and cannot take a joke about it. This also contains material which is related to sexual jokes (If you could not figure that out from the title you need help). If you may be offended by any of those topics or do not find these topics funny, don’t read on. If you read on and fall into one of those groups, I tried to warn you. If you read on and are offended and did not heed my warning, I can safely assume you are dumb.

Best headline of January is easily, “Intern Quits Wall Street Job for Porn”. The month is only half over, but what will beat it. This news story has led to the revelation that it is time to compare Wall Street and porn. This is the best day ever. That sentence may mean there is something wrong with me. I may be too excited to equate porn and Wall Street. Oh well, writing this is going to be more fun than seeing a therapist.
Quick background: the company she was working for was going to fire her for taking a nude selfie in the office bathroom. That is definitely against the code of conduct of a Wall Street firm, but will be a requirement for her new career.

Since the first difference has been mentioned let’s continue. She went from screwing the poor to getting screwed. Traders need quick triggers and she is hoping that won’t happen anymore.

Now the similarities, she is helping rich people see their fantasies. She is working with high risers. Someone will push her buttons. She will spend a lot of time handling business. She gets to spend time marveling at big business. There is great growth potential. After a long day’s work, the only thing that can console you is a shower. Work is a pain in the butt.

If it wasn’t clear this is a shot at the money not porn. That was a lot of fun and I am going to go do something highly questionable, trade stocks.

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