When Did Beer Get Complicated?

Beer made with mangos, beer made with local organic coffee, and beer made with chocolate. Beer is now treated to better nutrition than I am. There are the outlier beers that are made with cereal that are in worse shape than me, but not by enough.

Craft beer has come into the world and given us a surplus of beer options. Walk into a craft beer store and become a deer in the headlights because you have no idea what you are supposed to drink. Should I buy a pilsner, a stout, an IPA (every brewery has an IPA so there are over 2,000 IPAs and most are bad) and why does the stout double the pilsner and come in a 4 pack. Seriously a 4 pack, could you not afford 2 more bottles? Just reuse the bigger breweries bottles and call it recycling.

With all this new beer you would think there are more alcoholic, but an alcoholic would find pee laced with vodka to be delicious (The vodka sterilizes it). By that standard, we have very few alcoholics in this world. This has created a more sophisticated drunk just read the proper way to drink a beer below.

Drinking a beer use to be open beer drink beer and repeat. Simple instructions that did not need to stated, like instructions on a shampoo bottle. The proper way to drink a beer is to pour the beer with two centimeters of foam (let’s use a system America can’t understand). Smell the beer with small sniffs. Smell something else while you cover the beer then small sniffs again. This is starting to get tedious and no sips have been taken yet. The first sip is taken while you breathe out and send the scent into your nose again. Then take another sip and taste the beer on all parts of your tongue, and you thought wine drinkers are pretentious. The worst part is that you could have given beer the old college try and chugged it faster than reading that description.
 
No matter, beer is a great beverage that makes family more tolerable if you consume and less if they consume it. There are more beer is great quotes than there are god is great quotes. I am either making that up or there have been a lot of famous drunk people.